You build a strong marriage that holds by laying it on God's design, not on feelings alone. Honor it as a covenant, choose commitment, love with a love that gives itself, forgive as you were forgiven, pray together and rely on the Holy Spirit. Storms still come, and this foundation gives you solid ground when they do.
What makes a marriage hold when the storms come?
The foundation does, since no home is spared the storms. Jesus closed the Sermon on the Mount with two houses that faced the same rain, floods and wind, and only one of them stood:
Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: and the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. — Matthew 7:24–25 (King James Version)
The difference between the two houses was never the weather. No marriage is perfect; marriages have disagreements and arguments. The family is about two things, restoration and prevention. A sound foundation is prevention: it is laid on calm days, so the house stands on rock when the wind rises.
What did God intend marriage to be from the beginning?
God designed marriage Himself; it did not begin as a human custom. Questioned about divorce, Jesus answered by going back to the beginning:
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. — Matthew 19:6 (KJV)
In The Law, Order and Boundaries of the Family, Apostle Guillermo Maldonado starts where Jesus did, with God's original intention in the opening chapter of Genesis. No one can preach the restoration of the family without first knowing that intention. That message also calls God's Word His eternal law, never designed to change.
Jesus' answer holds three truths: God made marriage, the two become one, and what He joins is not for people to pull apart. That describes God's design; it condemns no one whose marriage has ended.
Why does the Bible call marriage a covenant?
Marriage is a bond made in God's presence, with the Lord Himself as witness. Malachi calls a wife her husband's companion and “the wife of thy covenant” (Malachi 2:14), and says the Lord has been witness between them.
In Maturity Begins With Responsibility, Apostle Maldonado names marriage among the covenants of commitment and teaches that each one begins with a sacrifice. Sacrifice, in that message, is the word attached to commitment. That teaching also warns against the spirit of this age, which wants the benefits of marriage without the responsibility.
A spouse wants commitment, not mere involvement. No one marries and then promises only to be involved.
What kind of love keeps a marriage together?
Self-giving love does, and Scripture measures it by Christ's love for His church. Paul addresses husbands, yet that love belongs to both spouses:
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. — Ephesians 5:25 (KJV)
In Understanding What True Love Is, Apostle Maldonado calls divine love agape: love that originates in God, its source, rather than in human nature. Only agape makes a permanent relationship possible, and human love alone cannot forgive those who hurt us. True love, in that message, means to commit, to care, to help and to serve without expectation.
In Overcoming Fear, walking in love is “a decision based on a commandment” rather than an emotion. That holds for ordinary seasons when love has grown tired; it is never a call to stay in danger. If there is abuse or danger in your home, your safety comes first.
What does forgiveness have to do with a lasting marriage?
Forgiveness keeps the ordinary hurts of a shared life from hardening into distance. Two people who live this close will wound each other, often without meaning to, so Scripture asks them to bear with one another:
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. — Colossians 3:13 (KJV)
Many hurts grow out of false and unrealistic expectations, and out of conditions placed on love; when those go unmet, disappointment follows. The measure of forgiveness is what Christ has already forgiven, so a spouse who has run out of patience does not have to find it alone. Deeper wounds, such as betrayal, need someone you trust to help you carry them.
Can you hold a marriage together in your own strength?
No, and Scripture never asks you to. Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain (Psalm 127:1).
In The Need of the Holy Spirit, Apostle Maldonado asks whether anyone can change a heart, thoughts of fear or a marriage by their own ability. No one can: we need the Holy Spirit. Believing you can overcome sin and the flesh in your own ability is, in that message, a mistake.
Prayer is how a couple leans on that help on ordinary days, not only in emergencies. Many people wait for a crisis, such as trouble in their marriage or finances, before they pray. Peter calls husband and wife “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). They come before God side by side, sharing the same grace.
How can you begin building today?
Start with a person. Ask a pastor in your local church to walk with you both as you build, so the work is never yours alone.
Then take small steps at home. Pray together on an ordinary day, even briefly. Choose one way to serve your spouse this week without expecting anything back, and forgive the day's small hurts before they harden. When feelings run low, keep doing what love does, and ask the Holy Spirit for help.
Frequently asked questions
What is Christian marriage according to the Bible?
Christian marriage is God's design lived out with Christ at its center: a husband and wife joined by God into one life, bound in covenant before Him. Whether you are engaged or long married, read Jesus' words on marriage together and ask God to build your home on them.
Is it too late to build our marriage on a better foundation?
No. In Jesus' picture, the wise builder is the one who hears His words and does them (Matthew 7:24–25), and that can begin with your next step. Nothing behind you is a reason for blame here, and no one can foretell how a marriage will turn out. Take that step today, with the Holy Spirit's help.
What if there is abuse or danger in our home?
Your safety comes first, and nothing here asks you to stay in danger. If you may be in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services, or a trusted person who can be with you now. When you are safe, our Help and Prayer Support page gives our phone number and a way to send a message, so you can talk with a person.
Related teaching from the store
- Retiro De Matrimonios / Marriage Retreat Bilingue, a manual in English and Spanish that a husband and wife can study together.
- The Family, Apostle Maldonado's book on the family, for readers who want to go further.
- Family, Fatherhood and Children collection, with more books and manuals for marriage and family life.
Published by King Jesus International Ministry. This article draws on Scripture and on Apostle Guillermo Maldonado's book Overcoming Fear and his messages “The Law, Order and Boundaries of the Family” (2018), “Maturity Begins With Responsibility” and “The Need of the Holy Spirit” (The Supernatural Now, 2018), “Understanding What True Love Is” (sermon, 2022), and “The Power of Prayer” and “The Purpose of Being a Soul Winner” (Sunday sermons, 2026). It is offered for study and encouragement. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice.